Pulling Fingernails

Happy 7th Birthday to my Sweet Boy Torin!

YES, a full elevator panel!  Thank you Jodi!

Not quite the 'happy' face I was looking for!

I've not posted in the past few days because I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself really.  I've got a wonderful sinus infection and am now on day four of NOT seeing Braeden.  Not only not seeing Braeden, but not touching Braeden, not soothing Braeden...not not not, ugh.  Ask any new Mom how she would feel to have someone tell her she CAN'T see her 9 week old baby for four days!  I've not been turned away, I've chosen not to go for both of our healths but it isn't an easy decision.  I can't stand being away from him (yes, I've got the shakes), but it would be a thousand times worse to get him sick when we've come this far.  To be responsible for causing him anymore pain and discomfort would be akin to having my fingernails pulled out.  So here I sit, feeling sorry for myself.

On the good news front, we do have people signing up for the Blood Drive on the 28th, very exciting.  Lorna and I are meeting with the coordinator today to go over the details but they (from what Lorna tells me) have been very wonderful and supportive thus far.  I am so proud and thrilled at the response we've gotten and not just here in Calgary.  My sister-in-law Ang has already done her donation in Mission and people have written me to let me know that they are regular donors as well!  To be a regular donor is an amazing thing, it is such a wonderful gift that you give!  I've always been turned down when I've gone to donate in the past few years as my iron is perpetually low but I figure with all of the craziness of life and the amount of homeopathics and vitamins that I've been taking trying not to get sick (ha ha, had to give in sooner or later obviously) that I might be just over the line.  Here's hoping!  I will certainly stick my arm out and hope for the best next Saturday.  I will be alongside my first time donor husband who will be just starting out on his donating career (don't worry, I've volunteered him!).  I asked Braeden's nurse to look back over the chart to see how many transfusions he'd had and she told me 6 full blood, 4 plasma and 18 platelet transfusions JUST since coming to Alberta Children's Hospital!  This does NOT account for the number of transfusions he received in the first few weeks at Foothills or the amounts he received in Edmonton after his surgery at Stollery!  YIKES!  It's no wonder why genetics can't poke him, his own genetic make-up isn't in his blood!  If that doesn't show you the value of being a blood donor I don't know what will.

Mr. B has had some low key days it would seem without me.  Is it wrong and completely crazy to be concerned he might not remember or need me???  Ah, hormones, how I love thee.  He has been pretty quiet the past few days but it could also have to do with getting his first set of inoculations on Tuesday.  I was going to post pone them, given what his body has been through but I figured it would be better to give him them and have him under a watchful eye instead.  When I explain to Docs or Nurses that I have a child with Autism and I have a different view of shots I get the "Oh man, here we go!  Crazy Town!!" look.  It is quite funny really!  Now, there is no need for a soapbox here but I DO strongly believe that we SHOULD inoculate, I just don't think that one size fits all.  If your child is ill or a preemie or has bad reactions, I don't think we should feel pressured to get our shots all at the same time is all.  Poor Torin lost an entire week of school with his last round of shots (that I delayed a year, yep, don't care if ya call me a bad Mom) because he couldn't lift his arms.  You can tell me the goodness in them, I get it, I know it is important but you CAN'T tell me that they don't cause any effect in the child getting them.  I've seen it first hand.  Now we might as well get it out of the way (since I'm so completely off topic of Braeden), NO I don't think that shots 'cause' Autism.  I think the rest of this discussion should be in another blog however!  How I wish I had kept a blog when Torin was diagnosed!

Back to Braeden.  They are tossing around the idea of inserting the nasal tube to help him breath but they've not come to a final decision on that yet.  The nurses are trying hard to keep him on his sides and front to see if it makes a difference in his oxygen levels or not.  Mike said when he went up last night B had his face buried in the blankets because he was on his tummy.  Guess he can't really smother himself with the nasal prongs blowing air up his little nose but still, yikes.  I'm just glad he's been able to get more sleep than me!  How am I supposed to get healthy when I can't sleep because I can't see my baby?  Not sure on that one.  Good thing for my antibiotics I suppose.  I am going to sneak into his room today however since I'm on the antibiotics now.  I've got to go in and drop off the breast milk (yes, HAVE TO, really), and I'm going to take a look.  If all else fails he is on the ground floor and he might just have a Mommy sized face print and hand prints on his window tonight!