Sunday, 16 June 2013

This Man I Love...Happy Father's Day!

Happy  Father's Day!!!

I know I don't really talk about my husband much (mostly because he doesn't want to be discussed!) but I thought it would only be suiting on Father's Day.

For those of you that don't really know us, Michael is the direct opposite of almost everything.  He's calm, cool, collected...I'm...not.  He's logical (to a fault when I don't agree with him :))...I'm (generally)...not, and that's only the beginning.  I think there is strength built on differences, opposites if you will though.

We do have many similarities as well. My husband is quiet, observant and extremely driven when he wants to be...I'm mostly those but certainly not quiet.

Build a puzzle with me if you will:

Two people find each other and fall deeply in love, they plan to have a family one day but are told she can't.  Not won't, can't.  Stress.  Shockingly enough fast forward years later she is tired of throwing up for no reason and a painfully bright light bulb goes off...yes, pregnant.  For those of you that are parents you know how (painful) difficult it is on your relationship when baby #1 arrives...nope, not all beautiful and perfect. 

Add to the picture a baby with special needs and requirements and a baby brother only a year and a half later (no we weren't thinking).  What does that equal?  Stress,but mostly good stress. 

Throw in a few more years and a perfectly timed and planned third child...and a wife shattered by miscarriage...shattered.  The couple decide that two are good, they love and cherish what they have and know that two are certainly enough work. 

Fast forward another few years and man she is tired all the time and not feeling so hot...insert mega watt light bulb moment (although she doesn't believe it and sits in shock for 45 mins when she takes the test).  Travel through a very rough pregnancy, with more stress added on with each ultrasound that shows 'possible markers for Down's Syndrome'...add a pinch of fear when she finally concedes to the Amniocentesis (although fearing in her heart she will lose this child)....and the test is CLEAR, it is a BOY!  Such relief is felt, they already have one child with Autism.  Such relief for their 'typical' child that he won't need to look out for two brothers with needs.  Slowly speed to the end of the pregnancy when the woman is feeling 'off', more unwell then well.  Add a few trips to labour and delivery and an ultrasound to 'just take a look'....Hydrops, a three hundred plus beat heartbeat, a heart defect and a Baby that most likely could die...only a 50/50 percent chance of survival if all goes as planned...our story here on the blog carries on from that moment...(Now this puzzle is one without the pieces of other marital stress, growth (both apart and together) and finances mind you!)

The stress a special needs child adds to a relationship ups the (already soaring divorce rate) to something crazy like 80%...what does a second child with extraordinary needs do?!  One might say it is hopeless, we would say it's simply made us stronger.

I love watching these moments!
Why am I telling you this?  I want you to know what this outstanding man has been through for me, with me.  He has done and will do anything and everything for his three boys.  He loves to be a Dad and he is so damn good at it!  He smiles at them even when they don't know he's looking and he aches for them when they are hurting.  This is a man that is raising his boys to be polite, caring and well rounded individuals (well except for vacuuming)....he puts everything into ensuring just that.  There were many years when I worked days and Mike worked nights then years when he worked days and I worked evenings.  It's hard enough to raise kids and be on the same page but try to raise kids when you never see the other parent really to compare notes!

Michael is an astounding Father and individual.  He is never really a focus here in the blog since he'd much rather prefer to be in the sidelines anyhow.  He has sacrificed so much to ensure his kids have all they need, many, many sacrifices.  I wouldn't and couldn't ask for a better Father, Husband and Role Model for our boys.

Do I think I have a perfect marriage...uh, NOPE (can't add enough sarcasm to that word and thought HELL NO might be a bit too strong!).  That doesn't exist but what I do know is that I am certainly lucky that I met my match, my challenge and my partner in crime. (Please note I certainly  have my fair share of days when I'd like a good place to store a body!).

I've met some wonderful and extraordinary fathers out there. I'm impressed with so many of you and what you do for your children.  I also know some top notch Momma's that do both roles, as I do Dad's in the same boat. 

Three Generations
I also love to watch as the relationships grow and mature with the boy's Grandpa and Papa.  You think that you'd give the moon to your child if you could, a Grandparent will ensure that moon is given (with an extra helping of something on the side).  I love, love, love that we live in the age of Skype!  I love watching these two men with what seems to me to be unending patience with their how a generation makes such an impact to them.  Thank you Dad and Wade for shaping my children and being such an incredibly important part in our puzzle.

Yup, stuck and loving it Momma!
So how's B you ask? Mr.B is currently, desperately trying to escape off the mat on the floor that we are I love this kid's determination and spunk!  Yes, we still are here, in this room, in this hospital, but it just might be our last night (this time).  His first feed was missed this morning (oops, it happens) so he's only had two feeds today at his full feed and speed of an hour.  He is going to make up the feed tonight when he's sleeping and we'll (hopefully) be on schedule tomorrow.  He is still not feeling himself again today and had to be suctioned (nasal) this morning.  I changed a very crazily green and slimy diaper when I got here today too (you're welcome)...the hope is that it is simply a cold...just a cold...oh yeah, not the 'cold' that put him in the ICU in October one hopes.

Tomorrow we will see, we will recheck and we will hopefully release!  Until then, Happiest of Father's Days to all and a Happiest of Birthdays to my Brother-in-law Scott!

A day at the park with Papa!

Grandpa Lousier, an old one but I love it nonetheless


From Our Home (Hospital Room) To Yours...

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